31.1.07

Recovery...

Its a recovery week....on the bike...but not for homework. I've already had a paper due and I have an exam in 7 hrs...MY GOD!...its only the 2nd we of school. I need a recovery week from homework already. This semester is going kinda suck. I can't wait another 3.5 weeks for the season to start.

Oh and I really want to go to Collegiate Natz...I think I'll be in pretty good form by then...I'm kinda in good form right now. But my Accounting 300 class might fuck me over. Natz is May 10 - 13...well I have an acct 300 final on the 13th. They don't move finals really. Their thought on moving exams..."you should just drop the class now if you can't take the exam" Fucking-A man. And I need this class too, thats the thing. Accounting...you're not the center of the universe. So I went up to my TA and told him that I've been picked to go to Natz (Just in case). Well I need to get a letter from my "coach" the dates of the race and expected travel dates. Thing is...we don't have a coach. Do I just get a note from the Prez?...the Clubs Coordinator?...the Dean? And it sucks too, they want the letter, like, now even though our season hasn't started yet. I'll probably just talk to the Prez about this issue. God damn you Accounting....God damn you....

I'm studying for another 15 minutes and then heading to bed...gotta get up at 6AM to study a little more...

Ciao ciao....

29.1.07

I'm already tired....

I guess people are wondering if I'm still alive...so I guess I should start updating this thing again....

Its only day 6 of school and I'm already tired of it. I work until 1am for SAFEwalk and I don't go to sleep until 2am and then I have to wake up at 6:30am for 7:45am class...OUCH! And when I'm not really getting enough sleep I kinda start getting a little cranky. I do however have an interesting schedule. I'm taking:

Food Sci 321: The law and regulation of food (Its only a 5 week course)
Nutri Sci 332: Human Nutritional Needs (Its pretty much the same course I took last semester, NS 132, but more indepth)
Food Sci 236: Nature of Food Lab (I'm the only male in a class of 18 students...YAY!!! I enjoy that ratio)
Bact 102: Bact Lab (yeah...boring)
Comm Arts 266: Theory and Practice in Group Discussion (We write papers about groups)
Acct 300 (I don't like accounting, thats about it)

Its only 13 credits...its nice I'm done at noon or 1pm every single day except for Mondays (Discussion at 3:30)...So Mondays will be my rest day with training. Training will be nice this semester...I just want it to be warm out.

I've been training pretty well for the last month and this week is a rest week for me. My power output has definitely increased alot just this month of January. Hopefully my body recovers and heals very nicely so I'm even stronger at the end of this week and then its more sprinting and intervals next week. Only 4 more weeks of training before the racing season begins...and I'm getting so antsy. If I'm studying with someone, all we can talk about is the upcoming racing season. I think I'll be pretty well set for the beginning of the season and I hope to improve alot by Natz and then be able to upgrade to Cat 2 during the summer. Soooo soon!! AHHHHHH....

And this coming weekend I need to travel up to Wausau. I guess Eastbay, the athletic company, wants me to model for them...So I get to go up to their store and model off some of their equipment and clothing. I'll be making 100$/hr which is super awesome and its my first modeling gig...so I'm excited and nervous. I'll let you know how that goes....

Other than that I've been hanging out at coffee shops finishing up/trying to get ahead in homework...going for rides (INSIDE), I'm kinda starting to hate the trainer but I'm still getting on it....and sleeping when I can. Not too much going on with life as of now. There will be a lot more when the season starts...then I'll be a very happy camper...

Ciao ciao....

10.1.07

Alright, fine....

I guess I need to come out from under my warm covers and write something. I mean it has been awhile. I've been back home in Point for about three and a half weeks or so and I'll be heading back to Madtown in a week and a half. But I have been keeping busy (yet staying lazy) here in Point mostly all alone. I sleep, eat, workout at the gym, ride my bike or play guitar Hero. Thats really about it. I like that schedule though...nice and relaxing.

Two nights ago I went bowling with Minch and bowled a 201 in the first game of the night and then plummeted down to 118 in the next game. I guess I just spent all my talent in the 1st game. And then last night Minch and I hit up Graffiti's downtown to have a couple Capt. & Cokes and play some trivia. Yeah...I really need to catch up on past and present pop culture and not so much science. Seems like knowing pop culture will get you farther in life than a degree in something important sometimes....


See bowling is fun....

Well, not too much to report from X-mas and New Years. Didn't really do too much. I spent a lot on presents for christmas and stayed in on New Years. Would have been nice to get down to Madison, but it was also nice to spend some time with Mutti and Minch. Nothing hardcore. But I really can't believe its 2007! It'll be a good year.

I tried growing a beard....for 35 days. Yes I was counting. I think at day 27, the hairs started to recede. I looked pretty sketchy, but I think it was a good attempt. I would have a picture of it if I had a camera that worked, but you'll just have to picture me with a beard...well, lets just say I had an anti-beard...so picture that. I'm always trying to work on my image....and right now with the more intensive training schedule now, my image is definitely changing. I'm definitely getting pretty fit again, I'm feeling strong again, and I'm losing some body fat...finally. First race of the season is only a month and a half away. I'll be starting Men's A for collegiate and I want to be fast. I started a little bit harder training regime...and I'll increase that when I get back to Madtown cuz its always easier to sprint with someone than by yourself.

I'll be hitting up the Brazen Dropouts Swap this Saturday. I'm really hoping to find a cheaper Powertap or something of the sort...to watch my improvement. I'll be volunteering at 7:30 in the AM for the swap seeing that I'm still on BD for 2007 and its kinda mandatory we help out. They do pay for our races...well actually the money they make at the swap pays for our races...so I want them to do very well this year. I have a lot of bigger races in mind for this year...and mostly just a lot of races. So everyone should get there asses over there....


I mean come on look you can haggle...and haggling is fun...

Other than that....not much has been going on around Stevens Point, its pretty boring but I'm able to get my training in. So thats mostly the reason why I haven't been posting...I have nothing to talk about...unless you want me to talk about all my intervals and stuff like that. However, I don't want to let all my secrets out. You'll just have to see if all my "secret" training is paying off...and no I am not taking EPO or testosterone...I'm not that stupid...and I wouldn't be able to afford it anyways. I think next winter break I'm going to go someplace warm to train....

Ciao Ciao....

21.12.06

As I sit here....

I'm becoming pretty brain fried. I've studied about 6 hours so far for 2 exams that are tomorrow. One at noon and another at 7:30pm. Its 12:30am right now and I'm going to be studying for another 3 hours. Then tomorrow morning I shall awake at 8am and continue to study all the way until noon. After that exam I'll come back to the library and study for another 5 hours before taking the last exam of this semester. Wow...I really study when I really need to. And since I've been studying almost nonstop this week I haven't been able to get out on many rides. I went for a 3 hour ride today after work...which was swell. It started raining a little bit, but I felt pretty good. I did a little bit more of a tempo ride just to make sure the legs are feeling the workouts. Damn I can't wait for the intervals...so soon!!!

Well, next week I'll put in one more solid week of base and then January comes...and the start of intervals begin. This semester is just about over...I can't wait to get out of Madison for a bit...some people are bothering me, and I just want to get out of this environment for a little bit. Relax, read, train, sleep, eat (healthy, cuz I really need to get into better shape starting now) and do it all over the next day. Thats all I'm going to do over break.

Other than that, sorry I haven't talked about the Holiday formal....All I can say is I got drunk 3 separate times, stole a glass full of a white russian from the Nitty Gritty, drew on a passed out Joe Comer's face, ate a crapload, and had an awesome time. I can't wait until next years holiday formal. But what I really can't wait for is the collegiate road season and hanging out with the team every single weekend and creating chaos.

Alright, I really need to get back to studying and thinking about cycling....I'll update everyone even more when I get home on Friday....maybe Saturday...or Sunday...you'll just have to wait and see I guess....geez the suspense! Can you handle it?

Ciao ciao.....

15.12.06

Final exams suck....

Right now I'm at the library and I'm probably going to be here the whole night. Its going to suck.

I don't have too much time...seeing that I need to learn about 4 weeks of bacteriology in 8 hours...HOORAY ME!!! Tomorrow night I shall tell of the adventures from the formal, how training is going and some random thoughts. But for now...here's a pic from the formal...you can come up with your own ideas on what's happening.....


Yeah, I'm drunk...I actually got drunk 3 separate times during the night. Craziness....

Ciao ciao.....

8.12.06

Interestingly enough....


This one is for all the ladies...

...I've been enjoying the trainer rides. Today I put in 3.5 hours. I got through half of Jackass the Movie, all of Matrix Reloaded and an episode of Nip/Tuck. I'm definitely getting some good base miles/hours in this winter. Tomorrow I doing another TT and then I'm going to go home and do another hour at tempo.

This weekend is suppose to be really nice...40's and sunny I believe. That's awesome for Wisconsin in December. Hooray global warming...

I still want January to come, though. I want to get done with this base stuff...and do what the big boys like to do...intervals. I'll also be starting at the gym next week too to make sure my sprint really improves.

Ok well...I have a quiz in the morning so I should probably head to bed...I may squeeze in an episode of Nip/Tuck first though. We'll see. Oh and the Holiday Formal starts in 17 hours!!!

Ciao ciao....

7.12.06

Wow wow wee whoa....


An artsy picture...why not. Thanks to Geo for taking the pic....

Can the weekend be here now? I'm pretty much done with this school thing...good thing I have 5 more semesters after this, eh? I'm not motivated to study or do anything. I want A's, but I don't want to work for it...I know, doesn't work that way...unless your a Gen-Ass. I'm making it through though. Only 4 more days of class for me...thank god for having Tuesdays and Thursdays off.

Last night when I should have been doing homework, I instead created a little training schedule for the next 12 weeks. I have a lot of base to go...but my legs are feeling great. Probably the best they ever have to be completely honest. So far I've put in a 15hr week, a 12 hr week and about a 10 hour week. From now until January I'm putting in about 20hrs/week. I'm on track for this week. I can't wait for January to come when I'll be starting up a few interval training rides. I want to go fast...because thats what I'm made to do. I'm definitely working on my sprint for this coming season....thats my weakest point on the bike. I can drill it, I would just never be able to win a field sprint.

I definitely know my fitness is increasing and my metabolism is getting faster as well. Today I had another research study. It was a TT. I was able to average 350 watts at an average RPM of 114. I took 4 seconds off my last TT in there. Thats pretty good. I have two more TT's in this research study...I want to cut off another 3 seconds and then I'll be real happy. After the study I went home, ate quick and then set up the trainer in the basement and spun for 2.5 hrs. Legs feel real good. Tomorrow I want to spin a little bit in the morning before work and then again after work in the evening. I hope this weekend is going to be as nice as it says...almost in the 40's. Thats perfect weather for a couple 4-5 hr rides. If not, well then I'm on the trainer watching movies for 4-5 hrs. Thank god I'm getting use to all these trainer rides...they keep going by quicker and quicker.

This Friday is the UW Cycling Holiday Formal. I love hanging out with the cycling team. Such good friends...and some of the freshmen this year are actually pretty cool.

Ok well, I need to dream some more...I really have to try and write a blog entry earlier than 2am.

Ciao ciao....

5.12.06

I don't know if you've noticed, but....

...Its fricken COLD outside, and walking around on duty for SAFEwalk hurts. I like the cold and winter, but I dislike the stinging sensation on the face and the toes.

This semester is almost over and I can't wait. 2 more weeks and then finals week. I want to just go home. Sleep, eat, train, eat, relax and sleep. Thats all I'm doing over break. I'm going to be putting in some intense rides to get stronger during January and I can't wait. I've been putting in about 15 hour weeks the last couple of weeks and my endurance is definitely improving. When January comes around I'll start the really hard stuff.

Well, the 8th cycling research study I'm in is going well. Just some TTs and constant workloads...and I'm feeling better after every one. So there is definitely an increase in my power too. Holding 340 watts for as long as you can at a cadence of 114 rpm is kinda hard...kinda hurts too. But still, definitely going well.

The UW Cycling Club Winter Holiday Formal is this Friday and I can't wait. I love hanging out with the team. And I never miss this formal for anything.

I really need to quit the Physics Library. I'm going to tell them on Thursday that I will not be coming back to work for them next semester. I want my Tuesdays and Thursdays off...thats why I scheduled it that way...and its not worth working there. I just want to have the time to train those days...and I should have that luxury.

Oh yeah...Aveda hasn't called me back about the gig. They did tell me I have 'very nice hair' though. Oh well, there will be others....

Well, I really don't have much more to say...I don't think I do at least. Tomorrow I'll be doing a good 4 hour ride and then I'm sitting in on some SAFEwalk interviews. After that its the last cycling meeting of the semester and then I'm playing some Wii.

If I think of something else...I'll write it tomorrow. I need sleep. I'm going to dream about racing and the like....

Ciao ciao....

26.11.06

So. Much. Food....


Turkey, mmmmm.....a lot better than this crap....


Gross....

Its been a good break. I really wish it wasn't over because I could definitely use more time off from school. Only 3 more weeks...and then 4 finals and I'm home free for a month.

Last week I started my second week of base. I put in 15 hrs, which I think is good for me. I can definitely feel a change in my fitness already and I'm liking it. It'll be another long week of riding again this week and I can't wait.

Also last week I made it to only 1 of my 5 classes. Good thing I have lecture slides from 2 of my classes and they just spell out whats on the slides....very boring. I just couldn't wait until break...don't worry I still have A/AB's in all my classes. I'll have to go to all of my classes for the next 3 weeks though...and STUDY. I want Winter Break now!

Well, Thanksgiving was awesome...so much food and too much fun. I got home on Wednesday night at around 9pm. Got a call and went right out to the bars. I didn't drink too much...but it was a late night. Thursday (Thanksgiving) I helped my mom cook the dinner and kinda just lounged around all day. Dinner came and the family came over. I ate so much food...passed out and then woke up and ate some more. That's pretty much rediculous if you ask me. The next day I went on the Point Brewery Tour with about 10 other friends...toured the place and then got some samples...good thing was...one of our old friends was giving the tour, so we definitely got our share of the samples. After that we went to the Wooden Chair for some delicious breakfast type food. I went for a 2 hr bike ride outside of Point (Haven't done that in forever - its also hunting season and its scary...didn't want to get shot). After all of that I went over to a friends house for some pre-partying and then it was time for the Point Bar Crawl...my god!! My whole graduating class at SPASH and the years before and after mine were there as well. Pretty much all of SPASH was out...shows you what there is to do in Stevens Point. I mean we do have 32 bars in a town of 24,000. Stayed out late again and then just passed out. It was really good seeing everyone again. I've missed a lot of people...some definitely not.


Me and a couple of my really good friends....

On to Saturday....I woke up a little later and then just relaxed for a little bit. I got on the trainer at around 2pm, got off at 3 and went for an hour ride outside. I saw one of my teachers from high school out on my ride so I stopped and talked to him for a bit. I finished up my ride outside at around 4:15 and then got home and went back on the trainer for another hour. So I got in a good 3 hrs on Saturday. I went over to a friends house to show her and her parents my modeling pics and then we frosted some ginger bread cookies. It was really good seeing her again and her parents. I got back home and should have started my online lectures for the exam I have on Tuesday, but I instead fell asleep. I wanted to get up at about 7am to start them...but I instead slept. I'm really not that worried about the exam.

Today Mutti and I went to a couple stores back in Point before heading out. People on the road suck ass. I really don't like people I remembered today. One person tried to run us off the road for no aparent reason...we looked over while honking and I just saw a smirk on the guys face and even his ugly wife's face. I wish I was the one driving when that happened. Well, we did get back to Madison safely. I dropped my stuff off and Mutti and I wanted to go see what the new Trader Joe's was all like. I really like that store...and everything is soooo cheap!!! It's also only about 5 blocks away from my house. After that we went over to Panera Bread for some dinner. I was brought back home and started my online lectures.

I just finished my lectures about an hour ago...its midnight now. I'll have to study the old exams tomorrow and then I'm off to Minneapolis for the night and then have to go to a casting call at 9:30am on Tuesday. I'm going to an Aveda Hair Show Casting Call. I really hope I get the job. If I do the Show happens Dec 12th to the 15th. I'll get a pro haircut, have a photo shoot and a video shoot. Pay is amazing!!! I'm not going to say how much though.


Maybe I'll be able to put these good looks to use soon....hehe

The thing that sucks....I also have the exam on Tuesday evening. So I'll be in Minneapolis in the morning and then I have to drive back 4 hrs to Madison...hopefully in time for the 5:45pm exam (Which I'm able to drop anyways...so if I do miss it its no big deal, but I kinda don't want to miss it). Then I have to go work at SAFEwalk until 3am...which is going to suck big time seeing that I have class at 8:50am the next morning. But I'm excited about the casting call and thats all that matters.

I'll let you know how everything goes...

Ciao ciao...

21.11.06

I'm coming back....

CX champs was this weekend....I think my legs are coming back. Let the training begin. I'll give you details soon....



Ahhh...I love cycling again...

Ciao ciao....

15.11.06

Time to give Thanks?....Almost.....

Ah the weekend and then the extended weekend is almost here. I really only have a quiz to go on Friday. And then I'm done for Thanksgiving. I do have an exam on the 28th right after I get back from home, but it'll be easy...nothing to worry about.

Got my classes all worked out for next semester too. I'll have Tues and Thurs completely off. Good nice rides those days. Mon and Wed sucks ass....but I'll be able to put in a couple short hard rides in there somewhere. And then Friday I'm done at 11:50...enough time for the collegiate road weekends so thats perfect.

Went on a ride today...just 2 hrs....thats all I had time for. I'm loving this warm spell we're having...too bad it'll probably be gone soon and then trainer time. I also got to the gym today....worked some upper body. This weekend will be the start of the long slow rides. And I'm starting it off with a 5-7 hr 150-200km day on Saturday. I guess Baumann is doin' the Horribly Hilly Hundred (HHH) route. Then on Sunday it'll be the last cross race of the season for me. The Wisconsin CX State Champs race. I hope I can show myself that I still have a little something seeing that my legs are finally not kicking me in the nuts.

I can't wait for Thanksgiving break and then Winter break. It'll be so nice not to have to do anything other than ride. Get the legs back into shape....kick a little bit of Baumann ass. j/k Baumann...I'm going to crush you. I hope... I just want to get back to the form I had at last years Superweek....just stronger....


Look at that pretty bike....I think someone lit it on fire, beat it with a baseball bat and left it for dead....how the hell am I riding that POS???

Geez...I'm on a role with all these posts...how long do you think that'll last?

Ciao ciao....

14.11.06

Ugh......

Long weekend.....lots of drinking....too much drinking....


Mark and I on the ride back home....

It was a good birthday weekend though. I went home for Mutti's birthday which is Nov. 12th. Friday and Saturday were very nice and relaxing days. And then Geo, Mark and Ash came up Saturday night to go out to the bars with Mutti and I. Mutti was only going to stay out until 10/10:30....well at 2:30am she's still out partying with us. It was great. The next day we went to Shooters for brunch and then I was off back to Madison. Really nothing else happens the rest of the day...I slept.

Yesterday was my 22nd birthday...god damn thats a lot of birthdays. Soon enough I'll be 30 or something...well actually I hope not. Went to class, then it was work, went to the gym for a bit, and then it was time to go out. There wasn't many of us or too many people out at the bars. Thats what you get for having a b-day on a weekday. But it was a good time...however...now I feel fat and sassy. So after this weekend...I'm going to put a hold on drinking. I'm not going to go to the football game on Saturday just to stay away from the drinking.

Maybe I drink too much. If I want to do well next year in the cycling realm I'm really going to have to start focusing. So step 1 is to get healthy and stop that drinking. I've been going to the gym for the last 2 weeks and I'm definitely feeling and seeing results. I'll probably start base during Thanksgiving...or just possibly this weekend cuz I'll be done with exams and quizzes for a bit. We'll see....

Oh and that girl thing....yeah....not my type. I've figured out its a two week process. It takes two weeks to finally get the real look on the person. Well...she's not my type. There were a couple things that annoyed me. She was kinda trying to manipulate me...I've been manipulated before when I was new to this whole dating thing...but not this time. I know its a small thing, but she wanted me to stop saying "ciao ciao". Her excuse "its too predictable". Isn't good bye predictable? I'm not going to change myself for someone. So I'm definitely staying single. She would be a better friend anyways. Thats the report on that. And as Gehling said..."I need a sweeter girl". (Thanks for your wisdom Jaco)

Ahh....I think its time to learn 3 weeks of Bacteriology lecture in about 12 hours. Should be fun.

Ciao ciao

8.11.06

A new start...

So my legs are finally back I think. I can push the pedals and feel strong. I've been going to the gym for the last week working on upper and lower body. I've definitely gained a couple pounds of muscle and I just feel better overall. I haven't felt this good in awhile....too bad the season is over.

I'll be doing one more race this year. I'm going to compete in the Wisconsin State Championship Cross race on the 19th. I'm not expecting much, but I am training for it. After that race is when I'll begin to work on base and weight lifting even more. Only thing I need to do is eat better. I have some high goals for next year which I believe I'll be able to achieve. I'm really focusing on next year. I probably won't do much if any MTB...focus will be more on Road and Cyclocross.

Today was a beautiful day, so I went on a ride with 4 other teammates. It was about a 2 hr ride and we went hard. Sprinted up every hill, attacked each other when we felt like it, rode hard into the headwinds. I was able to get most of the hill sprints with the exception of one where I was taken by about 1/8th of a wheel. Then down Seminole Hwy I decided to lead out. Got up to around 33-35 mph for about 1/2 mile and dropped everyone from my wheel. Then in the arb I attacked hard...a couple of the guys tried to catch up, but I held the 1.5-2 miles and got to the end a good deal ahead of everyone. Dallas broke a spoke with all of his man-torque through the arb. Nick told me I was fast, and the cocky guy was mad that I was able to beat him so easily on everything. Good day.

It always feels good when you've gone hard and felt really good. I've really missed those days. I've missed racing this whole year practically. Next year is a new year, and I'm going into it strong....

Alright well back to my stupid 8 page paper on Cephalopods.....

Ciao Ciao

24.10.06

It's been awhile.....

Yes I know I should update this thing more often. I bet all of you maybe one readers are just dying to know whats going on in my life. Well, things are going pretty well actually and I'm loving it. I'm going to make this short because of it being 2:30am and I having to wake up at 7am to continue studying for an exam.

I <3 cyclocross. My new cross bike rules and I want to specialize in cross. It'll take me some time to do that....seeing that I'm just getting back on my bike again and really have no power, but cross is a blast. My first two races I got 18th and 21st. Not great but not bad. The winter training season will now be starting up for me. I want to come back to the collegiate road season strong in February.

School is going well. I have an A or AB in all of my classes. I have 2 exams this week...one that I need to study for just a little bit more tomorrow, but it'll be easy. I'm mostly ahead in everything which is nice and not stressful. Next semester will be a little bit more stressful unfortuntely. Oh well.....

And I'm sort of dating someone now. Thats what it seems like. It hasn't really been set in stone yet, but I wouldn't mind at all. She's cool, funny, very cute and attractive, smart and she rides bikes!!!! I really like her. I've only known her since last Friday (13th). She's just really fun to hang out with. I just feel that I'm doing something wrong. I haven't had a girlfriend/dated since the summer after senior year of high school...so almost 4 years now. Its like I don't know what to do. I'm just going with the flow right now. Hopefully I don't ruin things and things go well.

Well, I'll let you know more later on. Now...I need sleep.

Ciao Ciao

6.10.06

Cyclocross rules!!!....

So I got the Felt F1X and I love it. I went for a skills ride with Eaon and he taught me some good tricks for cyclocross racing. I'm going to love it. I'll be starting in Cat 3 for this year. I hope to move up by the end of this year actually. I've started riding bikes again and I actually still have a good amount of poer in the legs. I'll be trying out the Felt in a cross race next weekend in Delafield. I want to/will at least place top 5. This weekend I'm going to do a little skills training in the mornings and then go for a ride ith the Frugeri in the afternoon (do some intervals and stuff). I really want to come back strong next year and I think I can. Eaon is going to kinda be my coach will will be awesome. I can't waite! I want to be able to get sponsored for the next year so I need to show people what I can do. That's it for now. Time to study for a crapload of exams.....

Ciao

26.9.06

I'm getting a new cyclocross bike!!!....



Its the Felt F1X. I love it. I just took it on a test ride today. Only $1300 and its an ultegra drivetrain. I'll probably be purchasing it in the next couple of weeks.

Oh and I got my new frugeri fork. Definitely a lot girthier than the one that broke.

P.S. A new spoke and nipple for a Fulcrum Racing 3 front wheel = $40. I hate you at the moment Fulcrum.

29.8.06

Reborn...a little....

Sorry about that last post. Sometimes things just build up and its that one thing that makes you snap and look at things all the wrong way. I got a nice email from a friend I haven't seen in forever. It was relaxing. Its true...mostly all that stuff I was complaining about in that last post really shouldn't get to me. I have to live my life to the fullest and not care about the 'little' things that suck. I just have to be the fun, spontaneous person that I usually am. That's all.

I just got back from an MTB with the Super Strong Freshman Steve. I feel awesome. We were riding really strong...even though I know he could have just taken off and left me in his dust. But in a way I feel like I could have taken him on. I felt strong and good on the Fuel (even though I want and need a new MTB, which will be a Salsa Moto Rapido). I've been going to the gym alot and getting toner and fitter so thats helping a bit. I just feel a little better. This winter will be a lot of training, but the correct training. I WILL come back stronger next year. I will be going to Mizzou this weekend for the collegiate races. I'm only doing B's but if everything does go right I may go up to A's for the Purdue weekend 2 weeks later.

And if anything I get to destroy a wall in our house tonight. So if I have any anger left in me I can take it out by putting many holes in the wall....

28.8.06

Life.....

So tonight was fun until a point...and you probably don't want to read the rest of this.

I've been tipsy or drunk for the past 4 nights in a row. I think its starting to get to me. Tonight started great and then hit rock bottom. I don't think people really like me. They just act and say they see me as a friend even though they don't want to be my friend. I know I'm an ass. I don't know why I am. I just am. I won't believe any of the comments I get....if any. Who really reads this blog anyways. You probably shouldn't anyways. Don't waste your time.

Mostly my life is going nowhere right now. I don't bike anymore...I want to bike more though. I just wish people would understand that I'm having a bad year and don't want to be on the bike. I don't have a job that has to do anything with my major. I don't have money to do anything. I drink alot. I sleep until 2 in the afternoon. No one really seems to want to be my friend. I suck at meeting new people. I don't have a girlfriend (by the way I fucking hate it when people call me gay...I FUCKING HATE IT...even as a joke). I'm not secure with myself. I say the wrong things.

I don't know what I want. Aaron and I had a conversation just last night about relationships...Minch understands too. I have a lot of passion to give...but I don't have anyone to give it to. I can't even find anyone. That's all I want right now. I so badly want to find a girlfriend. I've put it in posts before, but I want someone now. It's different than the last posts. I would like to get on my bike right now, but I hate it when people call me weak since I haven't been on a bike for awhile...yeah, sorry I've had such a bad year that I don't want to be on my bike right now. I just want to take the rest of the year off, but I feel like I need to race and shit like that just to fit in. I finally had fun on the bike today. I went on a ride with Minch. It wasn't training or anything like that. It was just a fun ride, that's all.

I don't want people to ask me about modeling anymore. Sorry I ever brought it up. I don't want to have a huge ego. I hate myself anyways....but I guess thats what keeps me going somehow....having a big ego. I've tried to tone it down, but I guess people still see me ass an ass.

Sorry if I've put my finger in your ear. Sorry if I've said something rude to you. Sorry if I've offended you. Sorry if I've said the wrong thing. Sorry if I've thought too highly of myself. I'm trying to change my attitude. Maybe I should just stay away for awhile (probably would make you all happy). Thank god school is starting....it'll be easy then. And I'll have two jobs and want to do well with my grades.

I've meant everything I've said in this post. You think I "love" myself. Well....guess what....I don't.

Ciao

20.8.06

HEY EVERYBODY...Come see how good I look....

Well today was the day of the photo shoot. My mom came down yesterday and we went shopping for some new clothes and such. We got all of my clothes ready last night (ironed them, sorted them out, etc.). I had over 30 shirts, 5 pairs of pants, 2 pairs of shorts, 6 different sunglasses, 2 hats, 2 belts, 3 belt buckles, and 6 pairs of shoes. WOW.

So this morning I woke up at 6am to get me and all my stuff ready. We left and got to the photo shoot spot at around 7:50am or so. My photographer's name was Jeff and my make-up/hair stylist's name was Anja. They were both really cool. They were kinda hippie-ish. They were awesome. So after getting all my clothes together they only put me in 4 different outfits. But they were good choices. I got my make-up on, my hair did (3 different styles), and got ready to look pretty. All I can say is modeling is FUN! I would just be standing around and Jeff would love the pose I was doing. I must be a natural. lol. The other girl that was there modeling never modeled before just like me and honestly thought that I've done this already. Nope...I just love the camera. Jeff really did a great job with the shooting. I really liked my pictures. Some of them really don't look like me, but I still really liked them...alot. I'll be getting a CD with all the pictures and the proofs in 2 weeks. Until then you'll have to just wait to see the pictures. I hope this modeling thing goes somewhere.

Ciao

18.8.06

La mia forcella....

So I finally have pics of my f$#@ed up fork. If I only had some elmer's glue and duct tape I could put it back together....


Both arms snapped right off.....


I think the right arm was fautly and then the left couldn't support the weight anymore....


That is some thin carbon....

I am a lot better now, but the fitness and the legs are just not there anymore. It'll be a tough winter for training....

Ciao