Sorry about that last post. Sometimes things just build up and its that one thing that makes you snap and look at things all the wrong way. I got a nice email from a friend I haven't seen in forever. It was relaxing. Its true...mostly all that stuff I was complaining about in that last post really shouldn't get to me. I have to live my life to the fullest and not care about the 'little' things that suck. I just have to be the fun, spontaneous person that I usually am. That's all.
I just got back from an MTB with the Super Strong Freshman Steve. I feel awesome. We were riding really strong...even though I know he could have just taken off and left me in his dust. But in a way I feel like I could have taken him on. I felt strong and good on the Fuel (even though I want and need a new MTB, which will be a Salsa Moto Rapido). I've been going to the gym alot and getting toner and fitter so thats helping a bit. I just feel a little better. This winter will be a lot of training, but the correct training. I WILL come back stronger next year. I will be going to Mizzou this weekend for the collegiate races. I'm only doing B's but if everything does go right I may go up to A's for the Purdue weekend 2 weeks later.
And if anything I get to destroy a wall in our house tonight. So if I have any anger left in me I can take it out by putting many holes in the wall....
29.8.06
28.8.06
Life.....
So tonight was fun until a point...and you probably don't want to read the rest of this.
I've been tipsy or drunk for the past 4 nights in a row. I think its starting to get to me. Tonight started great and then hit rock bottom. I don't think people really like me. They just act and say they see me as a friend even though they don't want to be my friend. I know I'm an ass. I don't know why I am. I just am. I won't believe any of the comments I get....if any. Who really reads this blog anyways. You probably shouldn't anyways. Don't waste your time.
Mostly my life is going nowhere right now. I don't bike anymore...I want to bike more though. I just wish people would understand that I'm having a bad year and don't want to be on the bike. I don't have a job that has to do anything with my major. I don't have money to do anything. I drink alot. I sleep until 2 in the afternoon. No one really seems to want to be my friend. I suck at meeting new people. I don't have a girlfriend (by the way I fucking hate it when people call me gay...I FUCKING HATE IT...even as a joke). I'm not secure with myself. I say the wrong things.
I don't know what I want. Aaron and I had a conversation just last night about relationships...Minch understands too. I have a lot of passion to give...but I don't have anyone to give it to. I can't even find anyone. That's all I want right now. I so badly want to find a girlfriend. I've put it in posts before, but I want someone now. It's different than the last posts. I would like to get on my bike right now, but I hate it when people call me weak since I haven't been on a bike for awhile...yeah, sorry I've had such a bad year that I don't want to be on my bike right now. I just want to take the rest of the year off, but I feel like I need to race and shit like that just to fit in. I finally had fun on the bike today. I went on a ride with Minch. It wasn't training or anything like that. It was just a fun ride, that's all.
I don't want people to ask me about modeling anymore. Sorry I ever brought it up. I don't want to have a huge ego. I hate myself anyways....but I guess thats what keeps me going somehow....having a big ego. I've tried to tone it down, but I guess people still see me ass an ass.
Sorry if I've put my finger in your ear. Sorry if I've said something rude to you. Sorry if I've offended you. Sorry if I've said the wrong thing. Sorry if I've thought too highly of myself. I'm trying to change my attitude. Maybe I should just stay away for awhile (probably would make you all happy). Thank god school is starting....it'll be easy then. And I'll have two jobs and want to do well with my grades.
I've meant everything I've said in this post. You think I "love" myself. Well....guess what....I don't.
Ciao
I've been tipsy or drunk for the past 4 nights in a row. I think its starting to get to me. Tonight started great and then hit rock bottom. I don't think people really like me. They just act and say they see me as a friend even though they don't want to be my friend. I know I'm an ass. I don't know why I am. I just am. I won't believe any of the comments I get....if any. Who really reads this blog anyways. You probably shouldn't anyways. Don't waste your time.
Mostly my life is going nowhere right now. I don't bike anymore...I want to bike more though. I just wish people would understand that I'm having a bad year and don't want to be on the bike. I don't have a job that has to do anything with my major. I don't have money to do anything. I drink alot. I sleep until 2 in the afternoon. No one really seems to want to be my friend. I suck at meeting new people. I don't have a girlfriend (by the way I fucking hate it when people call me gay...I FUCKING HATE IT...even as a joke). I'm not secure with myself. I say the wrong things.
I don't know what I want. Aaron and I had a conversation just last night about relationships...Minch understands too. I have a lot of passion to give...but I don't have anyone to give it to. I can't even find anyone. That's all I want right now. I so badly want to find a girlfriend. I've put it in posts before, but I want someone now. It's different than the last posts. I would like to get on my bike right now, but I hate it when people call me weak since I haven't been on a bike for awhile...yeah, sorry I've had such a bad year that I don't want to be on my bike right now. I just want to take the rest of the year off, but I feel like I need to race and shit like that just to fit in. I finally had fun on the bike today. I went on a ride with Minch. It wasn't training or anything like that. It was just a fun ride, that's all.
I don't want people to ask me about modeling anymore. Sorry I ever brought it up. I don't want to have a huge ego. I hate myself anyways....but I guess thats what keeps me going somehow....having a big ego. I've tried to tone it down, but I guess people still see me ass an ass.
Sorry if I've put my finger in your ear. Sorry if I've said something rude to you. Sorry if I've offended you. Sorry if I've said the wrong thing. Sorry if I've thought too highly of myself. I'm trying to change my attitude. Maybe I should just stay away for awhile (probably would make you all happy). Thank god school is starting....it'll be easy then. And I'll have two jobs and want to do well with my grades.
I've meant everything I've said in this post. You think I "love" myself. Well....guess what....I don't.
Ciao
20.8.06
HEY EVERYBODY...Come see how good I look....
Well today was the day of the photo shoot. My mom came down yesterday and we went shopping for some new clothes and such. We got all of my clothes ready last night (ironed them, sorted them out, etc.). I had over 30 shirts, 5 pairs of pants, 2 pairs of shorts, 6 different sunglasses, 2 hats, 2 belts, 3 belt buckles, and 6 pairs of shoes. WOW.
So this morning I woke up at 6am to get me and all my stuff ready. We left and got to the photo shoot spot at around 7:50am or so. My photographer's name was Jeff and my make-up/hair stylist's name was Anja. They were both really cool. They were kinda hippie-ish. They were awesome. So after getting all my clothes together they only put me in 4 different outfits. But they were good choices. I got my make-up on, my hair did (3 different styles), and got ready to look pretty. All I can say is modeling is FUN! I would just be standing around and Jeff would love the pose I was doing. I must be a natural. lol. The other girl that was there modeling never modeled before just like me and honestly thought that I've done this already. Nope...I just love the camera. Jeff really did a great job with the shooting. I really liked my pictures. Some of them really don't look like me, but I still really liked them...alot. I'll be getting a CD with all the pictures and the proofs in 2 weeks. Until then you'll have to just wait to see the pictures. I hope this modeling thing goes somewhere.
Ciao
So this morning I woke up at 6am to get me and all my stuff ready. We left and got to the photo shoot spot at around 7:50am or so. My photographer's name was Jeff and my make-up/hair stylist's name was Anja. They were both really cool. They were kinda hippie-ish. They were awesome. So after getting all my clothes together they only put me in 4 different outfits. But they were good choices. I got my make-up on, my hair did (3 different styles), and got ready to look pretty. All I can say is modeling is FUN! I would just be standing around and Jeff would love the pose I was doing. I must be a natural. lol. The other girl that was there modeling never modeled before just like me and honestly thought that I've done this already. Nope...I just love the camera. Jeff really did a great job with the shooting. I really liked my pictures. Some of them really don't look like me, but I still really liked them...alot. I'll be getting a CD with all the pictures and the proofs in 2 weeks. Until then you'll have to just wait to see the pictures. I hope this modeling thing goes somewhere.
Ciao
18.8.06
La mia forcella....
So I finally have pics of my f$#@ed up fork. If I only had some elmer's glue and duct tape I could put it back together....
Both arms snapped right off.....
I think the right arm was fautly and then the left couldn't support the weight anymore....
That is some thin carbon....
I am a lot better now, but the fitness and the legs are just not there anymore. It'll be a tough winter for training....
Ciao
Both arms snapped right off.....
I think the right arm was fautly and then the left couldn't support the weight anymore....
That is some thin carbon....
I am a lot better now, but the fitness and the legs are just not there anymore. It'll be a tough winter for training....
Ciao
17.8.06
I want these Mutha-f*$#ing snakes off this mutha f*$#ing plane....
OK so I haven't posted anything in a super long time. So here it goes...I'll try to remember everything I've done the best I can.
First of all, I have my photo shoot on Sunday morning. I can't wait for that. It should be fun. My niece got chosen to go to LA to model and have over 400 businesses from all over the world look for the top models. Who knows my niece might get to model in Milan. Lucky....but thats what I hope can happen with me. I just have to do my best. I love getting pictures taken so it should (and will) go well. I'll be going to the mall on Saturday to find a couple more clothes. I mean come on this could be me:
OK well maybe I can do something like this....
Ok so other than that I have been trying to work alot to make some of that cash out there. I've been working at SAFEwalk alot. I've been promoted to a dispatcher. 50 cent raise right there so that'll help. And we may actually get a raise at the beginning of Sept. I really hope that goes through. I also got another job working at the Physics library. Freshie Steve works there and says its pretty easy and it seems its going to be easy too. I'll probably be putting in 12-15 hrs a week at the physics library. So hopefully if you put these two jobs together and a couple gigs from modeling hopefully and make sure to save...I should be able to make some good money this semester. Lately I've been handing out bus passes to UW employees. Such a mind-numbing job. But its money.
I've been going to the gym a lot lately and cycling again to get a nice bod for the modeling and to get ready for the Collegiate MTB season coming up soon. I don't know how I'll do seeing that my legs have been feeling like crap for mostly all of time. We'll just have to see.
So this year I want to be busy. Very busy, which means very productive for me. So here's a list of what I will be up to this semester at least:
Working at SAFEwalk
Working at the Physics Library
Modeling
13 Credits of Schooling (13 pretty east credits though)
Training (SERF and cycling)
The Collegiate MTB Season
Hopefully be Prez or VP of the UW Cycling Team
I think it'll keep me pretty busy. I want to do other things too. Get into more activities.
Oh and last night I went up to Wis Dells with Geo to visit his brother and his brother's girlfriend. And well...to see a bikini contest. WOW those girls were HOTT! 3 out of the 10 were not so hott. The other 7 had amazing bodies and were very very HOTT. I didn't quite enjoy the results though. Two of the girls were not hott and they got 2nd and 3rd. Rachel - Geo's brother's girlfriend was not in the top 5 even though she honestly should have been. But just seeing all those girls in their bikinis....WOW. I need a girl like that.
Well, tomorrow is another day. I will be helping with cleaning our house, cycling meeting, SERF, fixing my commuter, washing everything I have for the photo shoot, and completing other random acts. My mom comes on Saturday and we will be doing a little bit of shopping for the shoot, some grocery shopping, and relaxing.
Well until then...
Ciao
First of all, I have my photo shoot on Sunday morning. I can't wait for that. It should be fun. My niece got chosen to go to LA to model and have over 400 businesses from all over the world look for the top models. Who knows my niece might get to model in Milan. Lucky....but thats what I hope can happen with me. I just have to do my best. I love getting pictures taken so it should (and will) go well. I'll be going to the mall on Saturday to find a couple more clothes. I mean come on this could be me:
OK well maybe I can do something like this....
Ok so other than that I have been trying to work alot to make some of that cash out there. I've been working at SAFEwalk alot. I've been promoted to a dispatcher. 50 cent raise right there so that'll help. And we may actually get a raise at the beginning of Sept. I really hope that goes through. I also got another job working at the Physics library. Freshie Steve works there and says its pretty easy and it seems its going to be easy too. I'll probably be putting in 12-15 hrs a week at the physics library. So hopefully if you put these two jobs together and a couple gigs from modeling hopefully and make sure to save...I should be able to make some good money this semester. Lately I've been handing out bus passes to UW employees. Such a mind-numbing job. But its money.
I've been going to the gym a lot lately and cycling again to get a nice bod for the modeling and to get ready for the Collegiate MTB season coming up soon. I don't know how I'll do seeing that my legs have been feeling like crap for mostly all of time. We'll just have to see.
So this year I want to be busy. Very busy, which means very productive for me. So here's a list of what I will be up to this semester at least:
Working at SAFEwalk
Working at the Physics Library
Modeling
13 Credits of Schooling (13 pretty east credits though)
Training (SERF and cycling)
The Collegiate MTB Season
Hopefully be Prez or VP of the UW Cycling Team
I think it'll keep me pretty busy. I want to do other things too. Get into more activities.
Oh and last night I went up to Wis Dells with Geo to visit his brother and his brother's girlfriend. And well...to see a bikini contest. WOW those girls were HOTT! 3 out of the 10 were not so hott. The other 7 had amazing bodies and were very very HOTT. I didn't quite enjoy the results though. Two of the girls were not hott and they got 2nd and 3rd. Rachel - Geo's brother's girlfriend was not in the top 5 even though she honestly should have been. But just seeing all those girls in their bikinis....WOW. I need a girl like that.
Well, tomorrow is another day. I will be helping with cleaning our house, cycling meeting, SERF, fixing my commuter, washing everything I have for the photo shoot, and completing other random acts. My mom comes on Saturday and we will be doing a little bit of shopping for the shoot, some grocery shopping, and relaxing.
Well until then...
Ciao
6.8.06
I'm still alive....
Ok so quickly here is what I've done, gotten, been up to:
1) I'm back on the bike
2) I bought a Nintendo DS
3) I got some new clothes
4) I can't wait for my photo shoot
5) Mark got me addicted to Guitar Hero
6) I started going to the gym again (forming some abs actually)
7) I've been sleeping alot
8) I've been working a crapload (the next 4 weeks I'll be putting in 107 hrs)
9) I enjoy life
1) I'm back on the bike
2) I bought a Nintendo DS
3) I got some new clothes
4) I can't wait for my photo shoot
5) Mark got me addicted to Guitar Hero
6) I started going to the gym again (forming some abs actually)
7) I've been sleeping alot
8) I've been working a crapload (the next 4 weeks I'll be putting in 107 hrs)
9) I enjoy life
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